Somewhere along the line of questioning everything stressful that entered my head I made a realisation…
Satisfaction is not about the thing itself but whether or not that thing is right for you at that time.
I’m sure we’ve all experienced it, the idealisation of a particular object, person, relationship, experience… and then the disappointment on the other side as we realise that it was not what we hoped.
We blame the object, person, relationship, experience. We vow never to do it again! We store it away as trauma and it creates a tiny tear in our consciousness.
If it’s in relation to another person, the confusion and detachment from the other and our natural state of love is a thorn in our sides, a deviation from our true nature which can lead to pain, heartache, grief, and, worst of all, disconnection from OURSELVES.
To fully grasp this idea that it is not the object can set you free.
I began to notice it particularly around relationships and sex.
How could sex with a person be beautiful and amazing at one time and awful and jarring at another? How could a relationship be so good one minute and all kinds of hell the next?
It’s not the person. It’s not even the relationship. It’s the awareness of the flow of things, the truth, the essence of it, our connection to our integrity and our alignment with ourselves.
As a collective we unconsciously encourage violence in relation to all manner of things including this.
We force ourselves to do things that aren’t right for us and then we start to lose connection with our truth.
What I’m starting to discover though is that by staying true to myself (even when it’s hard for me to grasp it logically) I attract exactly what I need and, better than that, I attract more than I need.
This has allowed me to lose the results focus, the outcome based approach to life that leaves me hollowed out, fucked up, and a beggar.
Living in alignment gives me the gift of constant nourishment from my soul and the strength to continue to do what is right for me.
My ‘right’ can look like silence and solitude or raucous wild dancing with friends.
It could be healthy plant-based eating or chocolate mud cake.
It might look like lots of sex, no sex, intimate relating, or alone time with my dog.
From what I can tell there is no limit and there is no ‘one size fits all’ approach to this life.
If you keep looking outside of you for the truth you’re going to stay hungry.